THIS IS IFA WARTBURG
The most famous and best sounding pop group in the civilized world.
IFA Wartburg was created by the cultural committee of the East German government to force the young audience to like music that is politically healthy.
Therefore, IFA Wartburg only play songs that have a positive message about socialism, peace and friendship. That is a result of the fact that the music is written according to five-year plans formulated by the East German government.
Heinz Klinger and Rolf Kempinski were chosen to front this project due to their non-degenerated appearance. In other words, they are the best examples available for the younger generation who always seeks for good comrades to idolize and identify with.
Heinz and Rolf were very honored to be chosen to organize this unique orchestra; a task for which their merits are just perfect:
HEINZ KLINGER
Educated at the University of Dresden and specialized in Industrial Infrastructure and Energy Support. Heinz is also an officer in the army and an eager spokesman for peace in a socialistic way.
ROLF KEMPINSKI
Educated at the University of Agriculture in Halle. Rolf is an expert of tractors and has also developed a new technique for cleaning harvesting machines.
Is Heinz Klinger single?
No he is a double for safety reasons.
Is this band satire? i saw a yt vid posting your song “freie deutsche jugend” and they said in the description that it is satire. Is this true? Thank you
Your question is handed over to Zentralverwaltung zur Verwirklichung des demokratischen Gehens, Sprechens und Sitzens.
is IFA Wartburg created by the gdr government or is it just pure satire? i am very curious
IFA Wartburg was created by the government as part of the Cultural Reform with the aim of increasing human happiness, creating conditions for peace and producing more freedom in a socialistic way.
Is the band working on something and/or atleast will have any new performances?
Yes, we have to change the Multiband Depression Unit again and also buy a brand new De-Sucker.
Wird es ein neues Album und eine Nordkorea-Tournee geben?
Kim Young Pung just informed us that North Korea has all the music needed to achieve peace and freedom.
Does IFA Wartburg still play music?
Dear Comrade Chum,
most of the playing is done with artificial unintelligence these days.
Comrade Günther,
The people DEMAND IFA WARTBURG!
Scandinavia screams for some more Communist music!
Comrade Günther!
Comrade Günther!
The people yearn for ideological correct music!
Hello,
my friend Dot has been acting extremely capitalist recently, I have tried to open his eyes by showing him the enlightening music made by Comrades Heinz and Rolf, but he has instead turned to capitalistic activities such as consuming products and not reading the entirety of you blog posts. How can I tell him that his lifestyle is wrong and he must turn to socialism if he wishes to repent and become a better person.
Thank you Günther, I need your help desperately.
Yes, we already know everything about him. He will be trained by party comrade H. Witzbeutel in how to use his brain in a more socialistic way.
Dear IFA Wartburg
Your beautiful German pop has rid the world for the repugnant capitalistic music of the past, but as soon as you appeared you disappeared, now the world needs you more than ever.
LOVE – Bernard Giovann
Thanks for your feedback! Right now we are developing an effective way to communicate peace and socialism via anniversary plates.
Where are the band members now?
Dear Abba.
Living on the go with a secret identity is quite challenging and we are not authorized to provide physical addresses to any of our employees. Of course, we respect their privacy by not spying on them more than necessary.
Hello Raubschaentze, Heinz, Rolf and the whole group. Thank you for answering fan questions. I am also a fan. I was deeply impressed by your music (in a good way), and I heard you for the first time in 2021 on a winter evening. There is something in your music that turns you on and pleases, there is optimism, a lot of jokes. At the beginning of 2022, I started collecting vinyl records (I note that I also have an Amiga record from the GDR (Puhdys group record)). And I decided to look if there is a vinyl record of your band or a CD and a cassette. In the end, I found that you released the album on CD (I’m going to buy it soon), but also found information that you released the album on vinyl as well (I note that there is a photo of the record on the discogs site, but it does not look like that it is real), that is: was the album released on vinyl? If so, can you provide evidence, for example in the form of a photograph? More questions: are you going to come back and record a new album (even if only one, I’ll still be very happy)? Will the full recording from your concert in 1999 be released? Do you have songs that you have never made public? Can you give any exclusive news related to your band? I’m really looking forward to your return. Thank you.
And why did you stop your musical activity in 1999?
We had huge problems with Millennial Bugs in the studio at the time. But now we have ordered a strong insect repellent so that problem will soon be fixed.
Dear VAZ,
the material used for that record was several bitumen derivatives carefully combined with a metal catalyst fed into a steam boiler under high pressure and carefully monitored process temperatures. The photo on the record is double sided but that does not affect the sound.
Ifa Wartburg, all the music, is insanely good. I really enjoy it, so I thank you for this website and your activity. If you still talk to Heinz & Rolf can you tell them I say “hello” and that I really enjoy their music and it inspires me to keep doing work for my German class lol? Thank you so much for maintaining this website and offering your knowledge Günther!
Harriet 🙂
Hello Harriet,
nice to hear that you like Heinz and Rolf. Unfortunately, they chose to quit our music department due to their lack in formal training. All musicians know that it is impossible to work with music without proper knowledges in Record keeping, Secrecy testing, application of the Public Administration Act etc.
Hello, Greetings From South America!
I really enjoy listening to IFA Wartburg, everything is awesome. This music breaks borders it its truly a masterpiece. Thank you for mainting this website it is an historical piece for all the fans. Also I have a question, will the band with Heinz and Rolf comeback with a new album or a live performance? I’m really hoping to it.
Well, that would be a nice thing but at the last gig I was very hungry and ate all the Berliners backstage (it was only 27 Berliners left so I barely noticed). I am afraid that Heinz still might be a bit irritated at me because of that.
Does anyone know how Heinz and Rolf are doing? I haven’t heard from them in a while… We all would love some new music to help drown out this awful capitalist propaganda that they call “Gimme More”.
Who is Gimme More?
Hallo, Günther
I have to ask this, what is your political function in our lovely democracy?
Since you, genosse have much experience with sound i think honecker should promote you to people’s commisar of noise.
Best wishes, and good harvest.
Yes, I used to work as a rubber ear for STASI so I know a lot about sound and microphones.
Hallo Günther, i just wanted to say that you are extremely handsome
Thank you! I use Style No 13 in the Recommended DDR Looks Table.
Günther, i wanted to ask if there is any way to buy ifa wartburg merch by any chance? I enjoy this glorious music quite a lot and would be very interested in supporting ifa wartbrug besides buying tons of steel, say like clothing or mugs. lots of love -iateawoman
I saw the most recent video on the youtube channel and I can’t wait to see if the lost tapes will get uploaded! I’ve fallen in love with your music and it’s so lovely to see that there’s still some activity going on, hope you’re all having a good day
Ja!
I just want Günter to write me a reply, if it’s not too much to ask.
Ja ja!
When will we get IFA Wartburg merchandise? I desperately need a Heinz bobblehead for my work desk!
-Eduard Ritter (Ministry of Transportation)
Our lignite is selling fantastically well at the moment. If you order 3,000 tons of lignite before November 1, you get a coal shovel for free.
Swedish humour be like:
We’ll compose this catchy, fun and even hearth moving songs, employing professional audio production as satire and just tell it to germans.
It’s just an old rumor that IFA Wartburg is a Swedish pop band. It is also a rumor that we East Germans would lack a decent sense of humor. We know exactly when we see something funny and when it’s appropriate to laugh. Today, for example, my old friend Uwe accidentally rode his bike down a cliff and knocked out his front teeth and suffered a severe concussion. I immediately started laughing so hard that my tears flowed and continued to do so for the rest of the day.
Mister Günther, is there an address or PO box that I can send fan mail to? I would also kindly ask you to suggest a socialist postal service! I have had bad experiences with capitalists spying on my mail.
Yes, we had a socialist postal service for a while but people didn’t write anything interesting in their letters so we just threw them away.
Hello Comrades at IFA Wartburg, We were wondering if the chords to any of your song were available, we are a like minded band wanting to do a tribute album!
-The Coomers
Hello Coomers,
chords are not really needed nowadays because they are already built into the songs in a very nice way which makes listening easy. Reading music is something people did back in the early days.
i live in sweden and my neighbor looks an awful lot like rolf kempinski his name is Magnus Michaeli
is it him?
Dear Uaz,
I do not want to be confrontational or dismissive in any way but the last official stationing I have for Sergeant Kempinski is at 84B sector 781.
I appear to have met a spy i see
We are currently investigating the incident.
i dont know if my comments are arriving
respond if so
No. Send it again and press the keys much harder.
After a lot of time and keyboards
I’ve found one to press hard enough one
My question was
When are the new live concerts coming you said to upload a few years ago
We are working a lot on it and trying to understand where the pointed stick and all the polythene bags, rock and roll nightsticks and cupboards full of hot dogs have gone. We bought sausages for one more tour, but that was back in 1999, so it is not certain that those sausages are 100% fresh and healthy anymore.
sounds delicious
Yes, with Spreewald cucumber and rotten cheese milk on top.
Hello günter! I’ve heard a bit of recorder during some IFA Wartburg songs, is it true one of the members carried a recorder?
Danke!
Yes, if they have a license to carry a recorder, which is classified as a weapon in many countries. Especially in the hands of school children.