Lignite (Brown Coal)


Lignite, often referred to as brown coal, is a soft brown combustible sedimentary rock that is formed from naturally compressed peat.

Product Price:


Product Shipping:

  • UPS : RUB15.00

Edit Product

Product Features






1300 lbs

Buy Lignite from The GRD! You can buy it from us by a regular order. It will be delivered by boat.

Harvesting Machines


Combinat Fortschritt – the largest producer of agricultural machinery is educated in 1951 by association of five independent factories of Northern Saxony which was engaged in production of agricultural, construction and woodworking machinery.

Product Price:


Edit Product

Product Features


15000000 Gram


1200000000 Joule



Buy your own dream of agricultural machinery! Since 1978 the combinat have been engaged in production of agricultural, construction and woodworking machinery. Production of harvester combines, ballers, mowers. History of combines production in GDR.

These harvesters will only be delivered in minimum quantities of one hundred.



VEB Rohrkombinat Stahl Und Walzwerk Riesa delivers high quality steel for your needs!

Product Price:


Edit Product

Find out the latest new steel offers and attractive deals from our modern steel mill. Please contact us for information about all our new offers and enquire some samples from your local Retailer.

Pricing is per metric ton.



Let our Nuclear Power Stations produce polonium for you!

Product Price:


Edit Product

Product Features


1 Gram




Injection LD50

The history of our polonium production is inextricably linked to the visionary spirit of Alexander Schalck-Golodkowski. In 1955, he specialized in the distribution of this substance. He began to dream of an alpha emitter that really made people happy. Neutrons were not very precise at the time, but Alexander Schalck-Golodkowski foresaw that they could become not only elegant, but also reliable.

May not be delivered to all countries


  1. Arian

    I recently bought some polonium and quite simply don’t know what to do with it. Are there any tasty food recipes that I can use my polonium to make? Constantly being forced to consume kapitalist meals has left me hungry!

  2. Prinzessin Alexis

    Guten tag,

    I’m planning on hosting a party, how much polonium-210 would you recommend serving to the guests with the champagne?

    Kind regards,
    Alexis Blackman

    • Günther Raubschaentze

      Oh, lots of questions about polonium these days. It’s not really my field because I never passed the entrance exams for the Stasi spy school (I got stuck in a pipe you had to crawl through).

    • Günther Raubschaentze

      Yes, it is a minor side effect that only affects about 70% so we have not printed it on the warning label. On the other hand, it is a good method for removing bones from fish.

        • Günther Raubschaentze

          Yes, we would have to print completely new labels in such case just for such a small trifle. We printed 100,000 labels back in 1979 and they have to run out before we can print new ones.

          I have more cooking tips if you want. I am planning to write a cookbook about my most tempting delicacies. The book should be called “Mein Topf”.


    • Günther Raubschaentze


      I am sorry to tell you that I do not really know at the moment because I was sent on a sudden vacation in Hotel Hohenschönhausen for some weeks now again. But if you only shop for a dime then the price is always the same all the time. Then there are also different scents if you want your coal fire to smell like Magdeburg or Bautzen.

  3. Thälmann

    Guten Tag.

    I would like to order Steel on the scale of 24600 metric tons. As well as a quantity of Polonium. Is it possible to arrange a better deal on shipping if they are shipped together?

    • Günther Raubschaentze

      Guten Tag.

      The steel is out of stock at the moment. Would it work just as good with cotton wool soaked in phenolic resin? We just got a cancelled order from a famous car production unit trying to build a plastic military tank.

      What flavor do you want for your polonium-210?

      • Thälmann

        Guten tag,

        We are ammenable to the proposition of Duroplast as we believe it could prove possible to build hulls for supersonic nuclear bombers. We would like an initial smaller order of 2600 metric tons with the option of an increased order in case it proves valuable to the aerospace industry or perhaps to build baby furniture.

        As for the Polonium, apple if available otherwise Vita-Cola flavor.

        • Günther Raubschaentze

          Dear comrade Stalin,

          We just noted that your name is Stalin. That name is not valid at the post office. It is allowed to make an order under a pseudonym if you choose one currently available:

          1. Billy Rubin
          2. Julian Lasagne
          3. Jack Russell
          4. Stinkon Stanković
          5. Xerxes das Boot

          Please answer within 24 hours. Otherwise you can answer whenever you feel for it or when you have time.

          Kind regards,

  4. Dr Higgleberry 3rd

    I’m waiting for my shipment of 20 Combinat Fortschritt for a small project and they still haven’t arrived? Could you please tell me what happened with the combines?

    • Günther Raubschaentze

      Ah, it’s 15 years of waiting when you buy our harvesters. We forgot to mention that because it might result in negatively affected sales.

      Can we offer you something else instead? Right now we have newly prepared extra fine Polonium 210 on the shelf. The finest Alpha emitter you can give your worst friend.

          • Dr Higgleberry 3rd

            Have you used the alpha emitter before on your enemies? Is it any good? I’m anxious because last time I bought an alpha emitter it blew up right in my face.

  5. Fritz F. Mauer

    Greeting Günther,

    If I am to order 2 grams Polonium, could I get a free T-shirt?
    So I could wear it when I move the the glorious DDR.

    Fritz F. Mauer

    • Günther Raubschaentze

      Dear Fritz,

      the easiest is to order 3000 metric tons of Lignite to get the T-shirt for free. You only need to send us an import permit from your government.

  6. Marx's Husband

    Dear Gunther,
    I recently ordered some steel to use for my university project, however that was a year ago and I still haven’t recieved an update on my order. Do you know what happened?

    • Günther Raubschaentze

      Yes, hello. Well, we haven’t found a cardboard box good enough box because we smashed the last one while harvesting radishes.

  7. Jacob hollowballs

    Hey Guenther, I recently ordered some A glorious east German harvester, but when I look at the order status it appears to be stuck in w*stern customs. Do you how how I can get it trough these uncivlliized barbaric Kaputtalist non IFA-Wartburg listening pigs?

    • Günther Raubschaentze

      Dear Mr. Hollow Balls,

      We are sorry to hear about your harvester that got stuck in customs. It is strange because we greased it with Klarinettenschmalz to help it brake on through to the other side. But as you probably know, life is difficult in the West.

      We will compensate for the loss and send you a new harvester immediately.

  8. Herr Bujah Ujah J Gasnu

    Lieber Herr Raubschaentze,

    Ich habe neulich manche Polonium gekauft aber ich weiß nicht, wie ich es nutzen kann. Haben Sie Rezepte mit Polonium, oder könnten Sie vielleicht mir Anregungen zur Verwendung meines Poloniums geben?

    Mit freundlichen Grüßen,

    Herr Bujah Ujah J Gasnu

    • Günther Raubschaentze

      Dear Herrn Bujah.

      Mix raspberries and polonium and bring it to the boil. Whisk in Gelatine, pour in a jar and let it cool of. Put on a nice etiquette and write “Omas leckeres Himbeergelee ohne Zucker”. Give the jar to someone you used to like.

    • Günther Raubschaentze

      Unfortunately, we have to tell you that your order for 125,000 tonnes of Lignite has got stuck in customs due to how narrow that tiny passage is.

      We will get back to you as soon as we have found a solution how to wrench out the freighter.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *