HOW IT IS MADE
We often receive letters and telephone calls from people all over the world, everybody asking the same thing.
How is it possible for IFA Wartburg to write such wonderful music?
Here is the answer to that question!
MAIN CONTROL ROOM
Everything starts here at the main control room at the Gorbyland Studios in Potsdam where East Germany converts music into records. This state-of-the-art studio is equipped with the latest technology and everything is really good and modern and it works.
THE ART OF COMPOSING
Being a composer is a difficult task. Only the best composers in DDR are certified to work for IFA Wartburg. Around five hunded skilled tone experts working with high notes where other composers are more into low notes or even whole chords.
It is a collaboration of art and the composing process must be heavily compartmentalized to guarantee security during composing. Only Heinz and Rolf are allowed to combine tones and chords into songs.
STARTING UP THE POWER STATION
Before you start the recording process you must make sure that your material is good enough for a record. We only use the finest Diesel oil from the oil fields in Baku which is the best raw material you can get when it comes to professional recording.
THE TAPE RECORDER
When the diesel power engine is running at full steam in a stable manner we can start up the tape recorder.
GETTING THE ULTIMATE SOUND
– Everything seems to be on the right track, says Heinz and adjusts the newly bought Albanian Compressor/Limiter.
STRING SESSION WITH ROLF
The delicate sound of a violin, gently handled by a real virtuoso, can elevate a musical arrangement to almost unbelievable heights. The tractor expert Rolf Kempinski is the right person for this task.
ACCORDION SESSION
You got to pull hard when it comes to the accordion. The best solution would be to tie an accordion between two horses and let them do the pulling, like Otto von Guericke did back in Magdeburg 1654 to prove to the world how hard it it can be, says Heinz.
SYNTHESIZER SESSION
One of the best synthesizers in the world (a Robotron CC 88) stands since 1967 in Gorbyland Studios. We are planning to make it polyphonic, but it sounds great as it is today.
TIME FOR LEAD VOCALS
Heinz Klinger makes the lead vocals on almost every IFA Wartburg song. He has almost learned to sing during the years.
– When it comes to lead vocals you must never exaggerate, says Heinz.
FINE-TUNING THE BUZZ BOX
– What´s happening? Our buzz box has blown the main fuses again. We have to switch them immediately before we continue the recording!
Rolf is always very alert in situations like this.
PLAYING THE HORN
– Every time I touch brass I feel calm and happy inside.
KEYBOARD SESSION
Rolf Kempinski at the Bontempi Organ. Rolf has a brother who knows the roadie to the Swedish rock band Mats Rådberg och runkarna and he is very proud of that and cannot emphasize it to strongly.
THE MAIN AMPLIFIER
Some of the instruments at the Gorbyland Studios needs electric sound amplification. Here is the main amplifier capable of generating almost 40W of pure solid state sound energy.
MIXING THE ALBUM
Understanding how the delicate combination of instruments makes the end result is the most important part in the art of mixing music. We never use headphones or loudspeakers during mixing. That would be amateurish and has nothing to do with proper sound engineering. Quality control is guaranteed by our government.
ON THE AIR
The most important step in the music production process is when we are sitting in the listening room, hearing our music reaching the loudspeaker in the radio receiver. Now our positive message is spreading all over the civilized world.
Heinz: – I hope they will like it!
Rolf: – Walther Ulbricht would be proud of us!
Hallo Gunther
i love your and IFA wartburgs work I was wondering where the address is to gorbyland studios since I wanted to go on an IFA wartburg pilgrimage and spread the word of IFA Wartburg along the Way!
from Comrade Casey
Hello!
We’ve had to move Gorbyland because the studio was eaten by Millennial Bugs. Too bad actually. There were mushrooms there too which was gross because I’m terrified of mushrooms (mushrooms can be dangerous and attack you if you don’t lie down and play dead).
Günther,
Ich glaube, daß Sie in gutem Glauben diese Seite verwalten. Aus diesem Grund frage Ich das: Warum ist das zweite Bild gefälscht? Ich sehe ein bißchen von den Becken auf Heinz’ Arm kopiert.
Bestimmt ist das einfacher Fehler, und Ich glaube, daß Sie ein guter Grund dafür haben, und Ich hoffe, daß Wir mehr reden können.
Danke für Ihre Zeit,
– Kathryn S.
Guten Tag!
Laut mehreren Experten lag es daran, dass Jean-Charles Je Pasienne die falsche Entwicklungsflüssigkeit gemischt hatte, so dass mehrere optische Täuschungen im Bild blieben und unser Korrekturgucker Ferdinand Ruepries De Ruepraiseu an diesem Tag zu Hause vor dem Fernseher saß. Dann könnte es daran liegen, dass Rolf das Becken sehr stark anschlägt und auch darüber haben wir mit ihm gesprochen.
Die beiden Experten Jean-Charles und Ferdinand kommen aus Frankreich, obwohl man es kaum glauben kann, wenn man sie in ihren gestreiften Pullovern mit einem Baguette unter dem Arm stehen sieht, Rotwein trinkt und Akkordeon spielt.
Grüßen,
Günthie
Dear Gunther,
I am surrounded by dirty capitalist pigs what do I do?
Aaron,
tell them “Please behave yourself and go and shave yourself!”
That is at least what I am used to do.
Release the Studio Recording of Meine Möblen in Köln! Although preformed live beautifully, a studio recording would be very nice. Best regards.
Yes, that would be nice but unfortunately there are problems with the recordings of “Köln” because some of the audio tracks were deleted and overdubbed with the radio show Krukväxtdags, which became hugely unpopular throughout the country. All you hear is an agricultural scientist scolding his begonias.
Hello there Günther. I am trying to make a documentary about IFA Wartburg to show to western audiences to show them the horrors of western music. If you could provide a timeline of events of IFA Wartburg, such as when songs were recorded or when a tour started, it would be greatly appreciated!
They are usually recorded when it is quiet in the studio. The tour starts when everyone has gotten there and shaved because we don’t like it when someone is unshaven. It has also happened that someone has said No, ugh, that’s enough! and we’ve gone home again. But in most cases everything goes according to plan!
To use an evil imperialist praise, this rocks.
I’ve never seen anyone ever have so much fun recording an album.
Yes, jazz and blues and rock and roll are the best things out there.
why does the drywall and insulation at sector 177b taste so good?
Nah, it’s an outdoor camp.
Dear Mr. Günther Raubschaentze;
I have a question about the Photograph of Hr. Heinz Klinger playing the Trompete (Photo No. 12 on this web-page).
I would like to hang that magnificent image on my wall, but I need permission from the website administrator G. Raubschaentze. Do you give me permission to print and hang it on my wall?
Happy late Tag der Republik!
– Filip M.
P.S. I will have the photograph printed in the highest quality at
Deutsche Wertpapierdruckerei VEB
Hello Filip!
Yes that would be nice. Every university in the entire world should have such a photo in the entrance and below the photo a brass sign that says “See how far you can go in life if you have the right values!”
Kind regards,
Günther
One question dear Gunther, what are the instruments used in the song Sorbisches Fischerlied? I am a former Sorbian man, and also a former Fisherman, but nevertheless i can’t figure it out.
Dear Hendrich,
I had to ask Paola who baked those tapes for some weeks ago. The tape box says the following:
Piano
Stehe-Bass
Trombones
Trumpets
Klarinette
Elektro-Gitarre
Choir
Laughing alchohol-enthusiasts
Lead Heinz & Rolf
And drums + perc of course.
There is also a track called SMPTE and it sounds horrible. Glad that they mixed that track out…
Danke, Gunther.
Bitte!
Is Günther single😫? Does the king reply👑?
Yes, I am single, but Heinz and Rolf have several doubles. This preserves their authenticity and allows them to be able to show up even when they don’t have time doing so.
You are an underrated band! and I love your music especially ” Kosmoskost”
On shorter space trips (a few weeks or so), the cosmonaut has to bring his own food. Breakfast and lunch is only offered free of charge if the space travel lasts for one month and up to a year. We’ve had some minor problems with space food theft, so that’s why our space food rules had to be changed.
I find it hilarious that this website draws a very thin line between satire and being serious and you cant really be joke on what is a joke and what isnt
We all work here at highest possible working pressure to ensure you and many other workers best reading experience known to mankind. You shouldn’t laugh at that. If you don’t have humor, you do.
Do they still use the same instruments and gear?
Only personnel in Sector 3 (Saal 28 Refrain Department) authorized to work with licks and counter melodies in the key of F Demented during the time period of 1982-1991 had access to the equipment shown in the picture.
Günther, how can I get a copy of the IFA Wartburg vinyl smuggled into West Berlin? I am more than willing to make a monetary contribution to further the cause of socialism.
Nikolaj, there are several intelligence reports about an increasing amount of IFA-bootlegs in circulation. Watch out for those western bootlegs. They are not controlled by the authorities and can damage your hearing.
helo, your computer has virus
No, just pranking, i wish getting the music notes to play it myself on my guitar.. MfG from Karlsruhe!
Yes, listening to music is so overrated. I also prefer to read it rather than listen.
No, Windows is uninstalled.
What do you use than, instead of windows? I would like to know so I could change away from the western ways.
It has a window but that is in the front of the computer (Robotron 300) running MOPS via military grade programming punch cards from VEB Drukwerke Reichenbach. But that is a secret so please do not tell anyone about it because I love my job here in Potsdam and do not want to get fired again.
Can you send us the music notes, so we can play your songs by ourself?
I would really like to play “FDJ”, but I like every song from you.
Just imagine, a big school hall, and we play your song!
Yes, we understand. Listening to recordings is so overrated. Music is always better when you read it.
Actually Dr. Gregor, I have actually worked for some days now, non-stop finding the notes of every intstrument using 100% of my musical powers… and I have a pretty accurate “Frau Gorbatschowa”, just work it out, and you can find the ones for FDJ. But now SUSH, they cant know I have their secret notes….