Huge computer problems solved.

Oh mein Gott, there have been so many administrative problems here at the department lately. Almost all work has been at a standstill for several months due to a gigantic computer problem. Data experts have been fighting like animals around a clock to find a solution. Everyone is now dead tired and just wants to go home for a long sleep.

But this morning something amazing happened. I was in the dining room eating cucumber and margarine when Bärbel from department D34 came by. She noticed that I had a yellow paper stuck to my gluteal muscle.

We examined it together (the note) and realized that the super secret password to this website was written on that note. I blushed when I realized I had been sitting on it for two months. Cheers and thanks for helping us with the computer problem, Bärbel!

Other things going on right now is that we've hired a sound engineer and he's now trying to get all those tape reels spinning.

Da haben ja wir den Salat! Please do not show the password written on it because it is top secret.

Experiencing the Mauer Power

I am worried about what Ronald Trump is up to right now.  He wants to build a wall around the US of A. That is a bad thing I would say. We East-Germans know a lot about that because we invented the Wall. 

We call it Mauer Power.

It is a powerful method to make a society more happy by stopping people from eating hamburgers, wearing blue-jeans, driving bad western cars, smuggling banana ice-cream etc. Refugees from the West are desperate to get in to us here in East Germany. Because of that we had to build our Wall in 1961. That helped us a lot. It fenced out everything that was bad in life. 

But Ronald Trump has a completely wrong approach to walls. He wants to stop the american people from leaving US of A.

That is not good.

I know that he will lose this battle against his own people.

Here is a song about the power of a Wall.

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

What a wonderful World we almost made!

This morning i felt a bit sad because today it is exactly 60 years since the Operation Groza (Thunderstorm) should have taken place.

Operation Groza was an invasion plan made by Comrade Stalin. The idea was to turn the entire Europe into a gigantic communistic paradise. Every single piece of land from the French coast down to the Japanese Sea would have been under our control.

But that son of a schädel-bitten guy Adolf Hitler came by and destroyed our plan. We only managed to take Berlin.

A similar thing happened Spain in 1937. Our comrades wanted the Spanish people to be comrades but a clown named Franco came by and stopped the entire event.

I get a bit sad when I think about the fact that Stalin only wanted to give the people of Europe complete freedom in a socialistic way.

What a wonderful world we almost made!

A Golden Communist

A golden communist

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

My first advertising campaign

Aaah, I have made it!

I have been working around the clock here at my desk at the IFA Wartburg office in Potsdam, struggling hard with copywriting and graphic design.

Luckily my new Robotron computer is a big help.

I have also been looking for suitable western newspapers to put the ad in. It is very difficult to find the right media when there are more than one media out there.

It´s much more easy to advertise in DDR.

Finally I decided to go for an advertising campaign in the music magazine Persona Non Grata:

nongrata

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

Der Berliner

Oh no!

The evil forces of the West have stolen material from IFA Wartburg again!

Now in this German grammar book from Sweden named Deutsch Aktuell. It is filled with lyrics written by the IFA Wartburg.

Look! It is horrible.

deutschaktuell4 copy

And after that you can listen to the wonderful song with the same name:

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

The best day of my life!

This day is a very special day for all of us here at VEB Potsdam Music. We have been singing and dancing and celebrating the entire day. The reason for our joy is that something quite amazing have happened. The newspaper Ruhr Nachrichten just reported that The song Agrarwissenschat Im Dienste des Sozialismus have reached number seven at the charts!

That is really amazing because I am the person who drives the tractor that can be heard at the end of the song. I’m overjoyed by the fact that I have participated in the making of this huge success. It is like beeing in the middle of a hurricane of love, actually.

It´s going to be difficult to sleep tonight. I might have to go to Tanzhalle Moskau for some Vodka and cucumber sandwiches.

WHOOOA! HUPSCHKAAAH!

PROST-BOMPA!

agraronthetracks

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

IFA Wartburg and Die Welt

Heinz Klinger and Rolf Kempinski met the journalist Michael Pilz from Die Welt after the IFA Wartburg performance at The Treptower Glashaus in Berlin 1/4 1999.

Die Welt is a newspaper that reaches around 300.000 readers in West Germany.

We East Germans have noticed how people in the west tends to get more socialistic when it comes to music.

To make everything as nice and socialistic as possible, we served our standardized stage buffet consisting of radish and cabbage and a lot of distilled water for all the thirsty comrades in the audience.

Thanks, Die Welt

diewelt

Songs played during this concert:

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

Space and Food are two different things

We all know how hard it is to be outspoken about space and food. Sometimes it feels like an invisible elephant is standing in the middle of the room seeking for your fruit bowl.

To put it quite blunt: Space and food are two different topics. Still we have problems to discuss this matter in an honest way.

So what my work has been evolving around the last weeks is how to communicate this as clear as possible and how to tell people about this in such a way that they don´t get offended and run away.

What I came up with, is this diagram that shows the wheel of food together with our mother Earth surrounded by Sigmund Jähn flying by in a spaceship. They are both flying around in space having food on board but the earth is round.

This feels like a great beginning of a new era.

Here is the diagram:

oh8

And here is the song Kosmoskost:

And here one more time:

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

And here is the song Kosmoskost.

Planning for the Ultimate Live Show

Today, I have been busy all day long, trying to create visual effects which are necessary to make a live performance nice and interesting.

IFA Wartburg want one hell of a show, magic light and eerie thunder, spark and shimmer. A show that will change the collective mind forever and be remembered for years to come.

So I worked with this tricky issue for more that seven hours until I came up with the genius solution; put an overhead projector on the stage and use it to show important information to the audience!

We want the audience to keep concentration to avoid uncontrolled singing and dancing. That kind of vulgarism is not at all healthy.

So, now I have ordered an overhead projector from the VEB Medientechnik und Propagandaforschungkombinat Karlshagen.

When I came home, I ate some cucumber and realized that my work must be the starting point of a huge leap for the music- and entertainment business.

ohapparat

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest