Planning for the Ultimate Live Show

Today, I have been busy all day long, trying to create visual effects which are necessary to make a live performance nice and interesting.

IFA Wartburg want one hell of a show, magic light and eerie thunder, spark and shimmer. A show that will change the collective mind forever and be remembered for years to come.

So I worked with this tricky issue for more that seven hours until I came up with the genius solution; put an overhead projector on the stage and use it to show important information to the audience!

We want the audience to keep concentration to avoid uncontrolled singing and dancing. That kind of vulgarism is not at all healthy.

So, now I have ordered an overhead projector from the VEB Medientechnik und Propagandaforschungkombinat Karlshagen.

When I came home, I ate some cucumber and realized that my work must be the starting point of a huge leap for the music- and entertainment business.

ohapparat

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

Hey Radiofunker!

Today I had a long discussion with Nimba Sturm about radio and living in a jungle. But he did not have anything special to say about that.

The thing is that we need to explain what a radiofunker is. I don’t know but it is a bit embarrassing to ask Heinz und Rolf about it.

I think it is a guy stuck in a jungle and desperately trying to get in touch with the good people back home in Berlin.

So I made this overhead picture for the IFA Wartburg live show soon coming up.

Nimba Sturm is the fat guy standing there goofing along with those parabolic antennas, oh my dear God. Too much Ketwurst and Grilletta there for him.

radiofunker

You can listen to the song here:

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

Creating the perfect live show

Tomorrow is the day when IFA Wartburg will perform live at Easy Schorre in Halle. The show is called Akte Rock and the TV-channel Mitteldeutscher Rundfunk (MDR) will be there, so I have to start planning the scene show now.

I understand that the backstage rider is the holy grail for every rock band. Without a perfect backstage rider the band will start to complain and use ugly words.

But a concert means nothing unless people actually enjoys the show. It is impossible to do a tour unless you know exactly how you’re going to get the crowd really wild. I want to create that dangerous and wild rock atmosphere that makes you feel creepy.

To find out what really makes a show tick, I started to analyze one thousand of the most successful live performances made by our genius socialist leader and live performer Erich Honecker.

This is what I came up with for the IFA Wartburg Live Show in Halle:

1.  Slipovers
2. A pointed stick
3. The overhead projector and important overhead pictures
4. Sunglasses
5. Maracas in yellow plastic
6. A sausage
7. Cabbage
8. Distilled water

konsertutrustning

This will be one hell of a show!

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

IFA Wartburg in Eulenspiegel Magazine

Today, I saw this little ad for our newly released IFA Wartburg album “Im Dienste des Sozialismus”.

The ad is published in the satire magazine Eulenspiegel which is the biggest provider of German jokes in the world.

The magazine has a circulation of around 140,000 which clearly proves that even West germans have a good sense of humor.

annons

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

Is IFA Wartburg a crazy orchestra?

This journalist at the magazine Revelation listened to the IFA Wartburg record but he got the impression that IFA Wartburg was lead by two crazy musicians. Heinz and Rolf sent a Doctor’s certificate from their medical examinations to convince this journalist about their amazing medical status. But that was not enough to change the article.

recension

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

Cabinet Nightflight writes about IFA Wartburg

The music magazine Cabinet Nightflight just wrote an article about IFA Wartburg. This is a good magazine because it´s based in the eastern part of Germany and writes a lot about what´s going on in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, Berlin/Brandenburg, Thüringen, Sachsen-Anhalt and Sachsen.

In my opinion, they should put more effort in writing about peas, how to design agricultural policies or when workers at a steel mill can start a comrades choir and things like that, but nothing is 100% perfect here in life as we all know.

nightflight

 

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

The famous Katja Preissner interview

“Do you know what, boys?” Katja said. “From Vladivostok to Berlin-Marzahn, people are dancing to songs like Frau Gorbatschowa tanzt Bossanova, Es ist nicht so schlimm auf der Insel Krim, Zur Konferenz in Rostock, Der alte böse Kapitalismus or Hallo, guter Kommunist!”

We were quite chocked when we heard this from her, even if STASI had informed us about the same thing one month earlier.

Katja is a journalist from Saarbrücken, writing for a magazine called Hinternet. If she knows that much about IFA Wartburg it must mean that our records have spread deep into the west and at a much faster rate than we ever dared to hope for.

“Please, Heinz and Rolf. Let me make an interview with you, before you disappear into incredible fame!”

Of course, said Heinz and Rolf. You can read the interview here:

hinternet

 

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest

 

A sad day at The Gorbyland Studios

Today we got a final answer from Staffan Hellstrand at the Swedish Record company Sonet Music AB. It was completely devastating to read the letter:

Sonet Music AB want to give out our record but they might be a bit scared or shy.

Sonet Music AB know that this will become a huge hit and earn them a lot of money. They just don´t understand that our image is against making money.

Capitalism = Kaputtalism

The good thing with this letter is that Staffan want us to send more material. I am going to send him hundred more copies of the same cassette tomorrow.

hellstrand2

Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
guntherbannersmallest